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 Post subject: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:47 pm 
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what time did the man go to the dentist? tooth hurt-y


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:48 pm 
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Ugh


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:48 pm 
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Location: ...well thats like your opinion...man.
What's brown and sticky?

A stick


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:51 pm 
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I dont tell dad jokes very often, but when i do he laughs

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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:53 pm 
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Location: Capitalism is not an excuse for greed.
Did you hear about the guy with the irrational fear of over-designed apartment buildings?



He had a complex complex complex.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:00 pm 
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phishtopher13 wrote:
What's brown and sticky?

A stick



yasssss!!
a kid told me that one today


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:01 pm 
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Location: Drink Michigan Beer!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:03 pm 
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What's a pirates favorite letter ?


The C


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:07 pm 
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see that cemetery?
people are dying to get in there


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:07 pm 
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junkbondking wrote:
What's a pirates favorite restaurant?



ARRRRRRRRby's


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:11 pm 
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Since I am a dad...I have been telling dad jokes for a bit now.
Here is my favorite

Did you hear about the two antennas up on the roof?

Yeah..they met...and fell in love.
Decided to get married

Wedding wasn't much..........







.....but...the Reception was Great!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:13 pm 
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What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school ?
BIson.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:17 pm 
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Where do pencils live?

Pennsylvania.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:28 pm 
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crackmc wrote:
see that cemetery?
people are dying to get in there



yassss another one a kid told me today


love the sea joke too


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:39 pm 
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How do you clean a tuba?








With a tuba toothpaste.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:43 pm 
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ha!


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:44 pm 
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so stupid. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:44 pm 
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crackmc wrote:
see that cemetery?
people are dying to get in there

How many people in that cemetery do you think are dead?


All of them!


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:44 pm 
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i love them though
they are right at my level


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:04 pm 
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crackmc wrote:
see that cemetery?
people are dying to get in there


bc you are from where you are from, that reminded me of this necropolis:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colma,_California


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:25 pm 
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They have to put a fence around that cemetery...

Because everyone is dying to get in.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:27 pm 
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Two guys walk into a bar...third one ducks.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:29 pm 
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i see you guys all went onto the BuzzFeed site that my kids went on


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:34 pm 
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gr8fuldan wrote:
Ugh


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:13 pm 
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My daughter told me the Pencil joke.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:17 pm 
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Irish guy walks out of a bar.

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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:46 pm 
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Are you awake?
No, I’m a man.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:02 pm 
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pishsucks wrote:
crackmc wrote:
see that cemetery?
people are dying to get in there


bc you are from where you are from, that reminded me of this necropolis:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colma,_California


there are more dead residents of Colma than living ones


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:10 pm 
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Are you awake?
No, I’m a man.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:17 pm 
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Skeleton walks into a bar. Says, “I’ll take a beer and a mop.”


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:21 pm 
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Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "why the long face?"

Ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartendee says "we dont serve food here"

3 legged dog walks into a bar says im lookin for the man who shot my paw


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:06 am 
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19 and 20 got into a fight.

21


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:32 am 
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the last four :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:05 am 
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How did the judge know the milk had gone bad?

There was odor in the quart


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:12 am 
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Yeeeeessssssss this is my bliss
Keep em coming

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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:28 am 
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I totally realize this isn't the right thread for this joke, but I heard a good one last night.....

What is the difference between Trey Band & a bull?


Well you see, a bull has the horns in the front & the asshole in the back.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:46 am 
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What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

I can’t jelly my dick in your ass.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:22 am 
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BT wrote:
How did the judge know the milk had gone bad?

There was odor in the quart



lol


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:32 am 
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Simonie wrote:
19 and 20 got into a fight.

21

Why was five afraid of six?

Because seven ate nine Image


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:32 am 
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I love dad jokes, and a lot of these are in my repertoire. Especially love how they annoy the kids sometimes.

Best time was when I was with my daughter at a college visit. There was about 20 of us in a group, kids and parents, they had us all load into an elevator. We are literally packed in there, doors close and it's quiet and I say," this seems like a good time for some dad jokes". My kid whipped around so fast with a don't do it dad look. Two of the other fathers were cracking up.;lol:


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:34 am 
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One of my students is the king of dad jokes. He's basically a 16 year old version of Ned Flanders :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:45 am 
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What did the topping say to the pizza?

Cheese to meet you.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:59 am 
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Not a dad joke, but I found it to be funny.

Little Billy comes home excited and tells his mom, "Guess what, today in class the teacher asked a question and I was the only one to answer it!" His mom said, "That's great Billy! What was the question?" Billy said, "Who farted?"


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:01 pm 
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Location: I feel no curiosity.
classic BT.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:25 pm 
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Why was the custodian late?
He over swept


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:37 pm 
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lol


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:42 pm 
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What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!

Jokes about sausage are the wurst...

Id tell a joke about steak but they're never well done...

Got mad dad jokes lol


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:50 pm 
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Did you hear about the fake noodle?
What an impasta!


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:55 pm 
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my dad had these (in hindsight) awesome dad joke/comebacks for me when I used to ask him questions.

Dad, Can I?
Can-I is in Connellsville

Dad, Will ya?
Willya's in New Castle
(had an uncle William that lived in New Castle, PA)

They were nonsensical and used to drive me absolutely crazy pissed off.

Now I do them to my kids. lol.


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 Post subject: Re: dad jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:01 pm 
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