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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:57 am 
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I've been reading this book by Steve Silberman about autism. It delves into the current state of affairs and the history of autism, autism research and treatment. In any case it started talking about the neurodiversity movement. Meaning some autistics think they have nothing to be cured of. That autistic personality is just another kind of personality and should be tolerated and accepted.

It also points out many of the folks in the autism community who are autistics and don't feel like they need to be changed in the same way we don't try to change the personality of neurotypical people.

I thought it was interesting. I do try to control my sons stimming (autistic behaviors like hand flapping and echolalia) in public. I don't do it nearly as much as I used to. And, I'm stopping it altogether and just accepting it as part of who he is in the same way that you could accept a child for being straight, gay, transgendered, tall, short, smart, slow or red headed, a vikings fan etc.

I also got to thinking about whether or not I am on the autism spectrum since there does seem to be a genetic component to autism. I write a lot of T-SQL and I am happiest when I am doing that. And partly because of the fact that it is structured and it has to be done precisely or it won't parse or it will give a bad result or be inefficient when it is executed. I take fairly complex comparisons and create dollar amount calculations to determine a final reimbursement for hospital claims and I usually can look at a design and see in my mind how it works from start to finish before I even open the SQL Studio. I've also had issues with personal relationships forever. Mainly in that if I don't think something is funny I have a hard time pretending to laugh about it. I also tend to avoid eye contact with people. My best friend my senior year in high school and through college was a Varsity basketball player and super popular. I remember when we hung out he would teach me stuff about getting along with people: if everyone else laughs you laugh too even if you don't think it is funny. If you think someone is an asshole but they are popular in a group just ignore it and try to be friends with them. If it weren't for that guy making me go out and go to parties and social things I don't know where I'd be in life. I also tend to take everything anyone says at face value even when they are being completely full of shit and the evidence is right in front of me.

Lastly, I've also been thinking that maybe with my youngest son working on verbal speech is not the way to go. Maybe I should be working on an alternative to that like an augmentative communication system or Picture Exchange System (PECS). I did create a picture card of his favorite things and when I give them to him I point to the item and then I see if he will and if he doesn't I guide him physically toward pointing to the item.

I'll update later.


I know TLDR post rapidly headed toward page 2. Any teachers or parents, or autism parent or anyone interested feel free to post anything you think, know or have tried.


edit to add cheesesteak to drive more views.


Last edited by blukarma on Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:14 pm 
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Lol.

I read it before the edit.

I just wasn't sure if I had much to contribute.

You seem to be a way engaged and loving dad who gracefully deals with challenges that terrify us other parents.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:17 pm 
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My college friend also told me when I do make eye contact try to stop looking at people like you are going to kill them.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:18 pm 
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interesting stuff. sometimes I wonder if my odd work hours contribute to me being more introverted or if my introverted nature is good for my job. chicken or egg kind of thing.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:20 pm 
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blukarma wrote:
My college friend also told me when I do make eye contact try to stop looking at people like you are going to kill them.


If I had a dollar for every time someone said something like to me...


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:21 pm 
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are you serious milliways? I'm laughing either way. But, I would find it interesting if I met someone who had the same problem.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:23 pm 
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Yeah. One of my bosses in college told me I look at people the way the end of his rifle looks at deer.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:26 pm 
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High Five!

I just stare intently straight in someone's eyes and don't blink. I'm usually devoid of any emotional expression. If it is someone I know I usually smile but often people I really know I don't make eye contact with them and it isn't an issue. I do make eye contact with my SO but I like making eye contact with her because her face is so animated. I can think of a handful of people I really enjoy making eye contact with.

I sometimes will think something is really funny but it resonates on an intellectual level and I don't actually laugh.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:32 pm 
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That sounds pretty familiar.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:08 pm 
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milliways wrote:
blukarma wrote:
My college friend also told me when I do make eye contact try to stop looking at people like you are going to kill them.


If I had a dollar for every time someone said something like to me...

Lol

Quote:
Mainly in that if I don't think something is funny I have a hard time pretending to laugh about it.

I’m def not on the spectrum and I actually have this problem, too. It’s easier the more nervous I am, tho. So that’s cool.

I really don’t know anything about any of this but:
I also appreciate/think it’s interesting not trying to “fix” people with ASD. PECS sounds great. I know stemming isn’t “great” but I often think of it as great because I compare it to running or other relief. I get pretty fucked up if I don’t exercise often and in a way, it seems like stemming is the person’s connection with their need for release. Or to just take a fucking break. And there’s something fucking amazing about that.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:31 pm 
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blukarma wrote:
My college friend also told me when I do make eye contact try to stop looking at people like you are going to kill them.



bullshit. Never stop doing that. We have eyes in front for a reason.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:34 pm 
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OldSchool wrote:
blukarma wrote:
My college friend also told me when I do make eye contact try to stop looking at people like you are going to kill them.



bullshit. Never stop doing that. We have eyes in front for a reason.


This is solid.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:44 pm 
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this one of the books suggested to our class to read for autism class
i didn’t read it because it was really long and i was really busy in school, so i chose a shorter book from the perspective of someone with autism
stimming is definitely something we all do, we have just found more socially appropriate ways to stim
it’s really important that kids with autism are able to stim because it gives them the relief they need - in my line of work i try to find more socially approriate stims for them to do, or try to make stimming contingent upon meeting some other goal, like once you are done conversing with someone, then you can flap your arms and get all that juju out
and fwiw, PECS is awesome. we’ve been using it with a non-verbal boy and he has started to finally request “cookie” and “outside” pretty often. Also programs on the iPad like Proloquo are pretty cool for automated responding and can serve as the kids voice as well.
and i also really appreciate your writing about your experience with your kids. it’s refreshing.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:07 am 
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bump for that aspergers thread


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:26 am 
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Everyones on the spectum maaaan. The human spectrum.


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